At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
