hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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