I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
