i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
