This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
