You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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