Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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