from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
