How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
