Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This is my gift to your gina
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
