Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
