Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
