My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
