Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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