Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize