Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
