and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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