so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
They took my balls.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
