She even gives head with a lisp.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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