It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
