Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
