Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
