I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
