you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
