so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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