She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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