wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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