I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
