he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
