He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My ass is underappreciated
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
