you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
