are you so shy because you have an std?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
