Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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