YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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