You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
