my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize