I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
