i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
