Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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