I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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