I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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