Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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