I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
