My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
