its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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