dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
