You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
