how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
