This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
