we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize