Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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