Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
