and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
