Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
