I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
