I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
