this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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