singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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