just come out here and I will go home with you...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
