I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
