Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
