its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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