her vagine was all disorganized.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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